171. {LC's Journey 25} The Unknown Peppered with Love

Welcome to 100 Ways. This is your daily exploration of self and soul. I'm your host and fellow explorer, Laura Christine. Let's dive in and find our way home. This may be a long one. This may be a short one. Grab yourself a cup of tea. Have a seat let's chat. I went through a lot of processing on my journey. Part of it. It was processing. Love part of it was processing grief. Part of it was processing becoming a whole new me. Part of it was my job. And of course, as you know, always. Am I home. If I'm not home, what's the fastest path back. Because my priority was to be home in myself no matter where I was. I was journaling along the way. All of it. Like I said, feel free to read my journal. If you're ever here, read my journal. Aye. Cannot share every single thing in my journal in this public space. It would not be fair to the people that are involved in my journal, but I can talk about the themes. And I will. During my last night. At the roses. Sean and Katy's. I processed. More with Kent. I was so fed up with him because he wouldn't get out of my business. Byron Katie talks about there being three businesses. There's your business, there's other people's business and there's God's business. Most of us get into other people's business and God's business. Way more than we're in our own business. Kent was in my business. I just wanted him to stop contacting me altogether. To go on with his life and leave me alone. I wanted him to replace me, although I don't actually. Wish that on another person. I was processing. And saying all the things that Kent should do.'cause that's just like, How this work works, you go into the story and then you actually find out that, okay, this was a story. Is it true? I don't know the work that well, but you can look it up the work by Byron Katie. I was saying things. That I thought he should do and what I need. Like I need Ken to take responsibility for his life and leave me alone. I need him to say I'm sorry. And understand why and how he hurt me. Again, this is part of. people pleasers issue. And a Savior's issue or a healers issue is that. And a Libras issue. We want everyone to be on the same page. We want everyone to understand why. That is not possible in these circumstances. Someone with. Narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, or anything like that. Any. Healthy relationship. Aspect. Cannot understand. So. Also trying to convince. The other person. Trying to make them understand. And by the way, go back to. Episode, one 70 about the convincing energy. It's only draining you. If we're trying to make something work, we can't. We can't have a healthy conversation with these people. They're not going to understand. So that's just a little tangent there. Like I said, this could be long, could be short, not sure. At the end. Of this work. I said, I don't ever want Kent. To diminish me again. In any way. Or to try to control my perception of myself and my reality and my truth. Or try to make me feel guilty or wrong. Here this. If you're with someone who makes you feel these ways, it's not going to change. Get out. And then I went to Nevada. Maybe we say Nevada in this country. I don't know. Anyway, I went to Nevada. And I found a place to car camp. For me, car camping means I sleep in the back of my car. I have a Prius. I had just flown to the mainland and I had just gotten my car back. So I hadn't acquired many things by that time. And I flew with a backpack, like a camping backpack, a backpacking backpack, a big one. Uh, suitcase. And my guitar. So I had those three things. And then I had acquired a few. Articles of clothing that were a little warmer than I had. And I shipped. One box to myself. So I had a little bit more than that, but I was able to push everything off to one side. With my seats down and sleep very comfortably. In the back of my car, only, it wasn't very comfortable because my sleeping bag was rated for 55 degrees Fahrenheit. That's above zero. It was perfect for the one weekend. That I went camping and used it in Hawaii. Because it just doesn't get that cold there. So super comfortable. Well this night in Nevada. It got to 35 degrees. I knew that was going to happen. I put on all my warmest clothes. And I slept. Uh, fairly well for being that cold. On a hard surface. But it worked. Back to that camping trip. On Oahu, which isn't really a trip I drove, like, I don't know, 40 minutes maybe. Probably not even 30. that sleeping bag again, worked really great. That one time. Now it was a great weekend. It's when I found out I was a unicorn. And moved to Street. That was a really good weekend. And then the magic never ceases and only ever increases. I wrote that in my journal. Yeah. that was such a beautiful weekends With my friend, Hoku who I mentioned. bought me the Lily coy cheesecake in Maui on my way out. And I moved into a home that I had no idea it was going to bring me home and show me what it means to be cherished. And loved. Because you are who you are. And when I see cherished and loved, I mean, by friends. With the deepest love. And the truest love, uh, love that later. Was described as being on damageable. Yeah. On damageable. Have you ever felt that. Have you ever felt that the love that you have between. Another. Is truly on damageable. It's a beautiful kind of love. It's free. I want to tell you how I felt. In this love. In California. I received a message from. the friend with an damageable love. And I won't. Share what he said or what I said. But this is how I felt. I felt as an equal. I felt trusted. I felt loved. I felt home. Even in the pain. Because I know that voice. It was my own different circumstances. The same fight. What's right. I wanted to hold him. Not to fix or make it better just to be. Another being in that space of being, because when I am home, Those around me, feel their own home. And sometimes they're far from home and that's scary. I felt. Honored. And I felt unknowing. Not much, it feels closer to home to me than this. Maybe the interstates. The ones that actually cross other state lines. Because did you know, they have interstates on a wahoo. They don't cross state lines. So it doesn't make sense. Maybe new terrain, new landscapes, uncharted paths. Well, now I like knowing there is a path. Of course, they're always as a path. And the soul always knows what to do. So, let me tell you about Nevada a little bit. I don't love it. I found a place to camp. It was that a reservoir? The colors were very kind of dull. It's so dry there. The blue was doll. I'm the sort of brownish radish grayish was dull. The plants that there were. We're a very dull green. The sky felt dull. It got really windy though. And some tumbleweeds. Blue across the little road in that camping area. That was kinda neat. I met some people there too that have been traveling. But I don't really recall anything about that other than it's cool to meet new people and. Connect like that. I played my guitar in Nevada. So technically. I could have a sticker for Nevada on my Guitar case, but I didn't really want. I slept that night as well as I could. And I got up in the morning and I kept moving the next day. I drove all the way To Ogden, Utah, but first. I had to stop at whole foods in salt lake city. I hadn't been to a whole food since I left Hawaii. And I had kind of fallen in love with that store. When I was in Hawaii. I had everything I wanted and needed. And it's where I met Olivera all the time. As well. I'll tell you about Utah. Next time. They're painting the house next door and using machinery and making all sorts of noise. So I'm going to stop recording. Go to buy me a coffee.com/ 1 0, 0 ways to make a donation to the show. And keep me producing it. Until next time i'm sending all the love and then some more we'll talk tomorrow Thank you for exploring with me today. I would love to continue this conversation with you. We can do that at laurachristine. us. You'll find contact in the menu or you can go to laurachristine. us slash contact and you'll be taken right to it. Let's dive in a little deeper and see how fully we can flow with the duh.