191. Love & Logic Defined(ish) {with Sam}

Welcome back to the love and logic episodes with Sam. I asked Sam if he was arguing for using logic and instead of love, but it still didn't make sense to me. And I thought we really need to define. What we mean by love and what we mean by logic. So we attempt to do that. In this episode. Let's define logic and define love, because I feel like. What's the difference. We're talking about falling in love. And we can either use love or logic. So, which is what. Um, And can you logic your way into love? I'm sure you can even certainly logic your way out of it. I think it's a lot easier to logic your way out of love than it is a logical way into love. Because a lot of what happens when you're in love with somebody can be kind of counterintuitive to being healthy to yourself. Yeah. But that's not love. That's attachment. That's attachment, right. So when we say love, what are we talking about? That's what I want. Are we talking about like universal law or are we talking about. how my dog feels about me. Are we talking about how I feel about my parents or how you, you know what I mean? Or are we talking about like the love I have for my ex-girlfriend, which is really not love at all, but more of like a low thing. And a deep and uninvited animosity. I could've used some more logic in that scenario. I'm sure. But I did. Could've been some scenarios too, right? Well, we all could, so am I arguing something? I don't know. I'm usually arguing something. Even if I'm unaware of the fact that I might be arguing, but. I don't think these things are mutually exclusive of each other. I don't either. I think it's kind of like they are other ends of a spectrum. And. You can use some varying degree of these things to guide yourself. To where you want to be in life, whether that's in love or, you know, something else. So when it comes to matters of the heart or when it comes to. Romantic relationships. Let's say. Your friend was saying, you can use love or logic, but not both. I think what she was kind of saying is that like, if you're going to really lean into love, you're going to lose a lot of the logic. And if you're going to lean into the logic, you're going to lose a lot of the love. It wasn't I don't, you know, she has a bad habit of making things incredibly black and white. In a world that is just gray scale. so I oftentimes, like I will hear her say something and then go look, I've got to like, translate it through the filter of like Helen's world is just. Full of hard lines. You know what I mean? And no gray zones. Okay. Um, which Oftentimes true for people who have experienced, Really intense trauma. And. know, I'm sure that that. Affects her. Subjective views of these things. Totally. You know, um, all of that is. Important to how we come to feel about things like love. What were our examples of love? I feel like love is. Let me just cut in. Please. We try to describe this thing that we call love in so many different ways. Like I love my mom. I love my shoes. I mean, Seriously though, you can love a pair of shoes. You can, but it's not the same that you're going to feel free to lover. I don't love my shoes. Like I love my lover. also like you, aren't going to love your lover the way you would love. A child. Or. Uh, pet. Even, I think those, those like children and pets. Are the ones where you're like, You, you would do some pretty illogical things. Without even a hesitation. For children or pets. That you wouldn't do. For a pair of shoes for pair of shoes or even your best friend. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's that's. I think probably pretty typical for a lot of people. Oh, It's pretty. Normal response to want to. Defend. Things that we see as, Innocent or. Unable to defend themselves. So, I don't know if that answers. Your question about. Love or logic. Uh, I feel like we're just like really more making a mess of, of the whole thing. But that's okay. I'm not worried about it. I think love is messy. I know, I don't know how I'm going to do it first. We'll find out. I agree with you though that they're not mutually Exclusive. I just think that love encompasses so much. It's not opposite of logic. So it's very hard to say you can use one or the other because it's not like there. It's not a clear. Exactly. What is the opposite of love? I'm not sure that there is one. Me too. So I don't think there is, well, unless you go with the, I think the Lumineers and they say that it's indifference. oh, apathy. And apathy, that could be, you know, it like that's maybe the closest thing that we can get to, but I don't think that love has an opposite. Because. It's almost like love is the. basis for where we are. we live in a dualistic world, so there's opposites everywhere, but it's almost like there's one thing that doesn't. That holds it all together. Or that the dualistic. Stuff. It's the hammer from, right? Yeah. What's the fabric. That's love. But it's. Not easy to define and we use the word love for so many different things. That's why I think I don't understand how you can not use. Love no matter what else you're using. And his logic, not a loving thing to use. Like if we can go there as well.